Dar, pe masura ce anii vietii trec, ni se schimba preferintele si prioritatile, felul in care ne traim viata. Nu ne plac, nu vrem, nu gindim, nu ne intereseaza, nu consideram importante aceleasi lucruri la 60 ca la 40 sau la 40 ca la 20 de ani.
Mai deunazi, ma aflam intr-un bar pe o insula spre capatul lumii, in orasul Cebu. Texasul ce imi fusese "acasa" pt multi ani era deja trecut la categoria amintiri, asa cum se intimplase, inaintea lui, si cu Romania. Ma dau in vorba cu un australian, om trecut, ca si mine, de prima ba poate si de a doua tinerete. Conversatia se leaga usor cum este adesea cazul cu oameni care au ales un drum asemanator in viata.
Amindoi abandonaseram traiul in "lumea vestica", the rat race, goana dupa bani si belongings, cariera, familia, prietenii, apartenenta la un fond cultural familiar, notiunea de "acasa" si toate celelalte care sint considerate ca reprezentind o persoana/viata "normala".
Ele fusesera necesare sau importante sau placute sau interesante intr-o etapa precedenta a vietilor noastre. Facusera parte din procesul natural si normal de trecere prin viata, de maturizare. Isi avusesera rostul lor. Acum insa nu mai insemnau mare lucru.
Bucuriile simple ale vietii, aventura, dorinta de libertate devenisera mai importante decit acumularea de bani si bunuri si decit apartenenta la familie, societate, sistem, tara. Timpul devenise mai de pret decit banii, importanta opiniei altora despre noi se diminuase pina la disparitie, dorinta de a avea neaparat dreptate sau de a convinge pe altii devenise ca si inexistenta, marile "drame" ale tineretii ramasesera mult in urma si acum nu ne mai provocau decit un suris ingaduitor, goana dupa putere, faima, recunoastere isi pierdusera orice sens.
Nu l-am mai intilnit niciodata pe omul acela, alte tari si alti oameni au urmat pe drumul vietii mele. Dar imi aduc aminte cite ceva din cele spuse de el atunci. Chiar daca nu era o noutate pt mine, felul in care a spus-o a fost mai frumos decit o puteam spune eu. Mi-a placut. Pun aici, poate place si altora (nota: aceste citeva rinduri de mai jos nu sint scrise de mine deci, desi mi-ar fi placut sa le fi scris eu, meritul lor nu-mi apartine):
"Sure, I look in the mirror and see the effects the years have had on my body and they call that visible signs of ageing. My body and my mind are older now.
Face it. I don't think like I used to twenty odd years ago. I might try and fool myself I do. The truth is I don't. Nobody does.
Decades of surviving all this life has to throw at you changes your thinking. It has to. Experience some might call it. Experience is merely stuffing up and living to tell about it. Or keeping it to yourself. You learn that from experience also.
I am older now. I don't like the things I used to like when I was young. I like things now I never liked. The hard part was admitting it to myself. Accepting my values had changed.
Many things I held so dear all those years no longer make sense or are worth fighting for, arguing about, getting angry over. Other things took their place but maybe age had mellowed me.
There isn't much I hold so dear nowadays I am willing to fight for it. Sad, really. Or is it?
So much that once meant so much I now see as trivial. It was trivial all along but it took years to realise it. Is that wisdom?"